Whew. September… you wore me out.

This past month was one of the hardest months I’ve had in a long time. Bills got behind, things started piling up faster than I could catch up, and some days I sat there like — what am I even doing anymore? That’s a hard thing to admit, but it’s real.

I know people look at me and see the hair, the tote, the lifestyle, the blog, the hustle… but behind all that, I’ve been fighting to keep my head above water. And I told myself I wouldn’t come back on here and fake it. If I was gonna write another blog, it had to be honest.

The truth is, I’ve been in survival mode.

That’s why when I saw Tabitha Brown’s post about having to get a job, it hit me so deep. She said sometimes life just life’s, and you gotta do what you gotta do. That’s where I’ve been. Sometimes you can be the strongest person, the hardest worker, and life will still sit you down and make you question everything.

But here’s what I’m learning: survival seasons don’t last forever. They test you, they stretch you, they make you feel like you’re at your breaking point… but they don’t define you.

I’m writing this today as my reminder — and yours — that it’s okay to be in a survival season. It doesn’t make you less than. It doesn’t mean you’re failing. It just means you’re human. And even in the middle of it, God is still working.

So yes, life really been lifing lately. September knocked me around, but October I’m praying for peace, clarity, and strength to keep showing up. If you’ve been feeling the same way, this one’s for you. We’re gonna make it through. One day, one step, one prayer at a time.

— Ashlee Nikole 🖤